did you get engaged???
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
