Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
