If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
