So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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