i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
