On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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