On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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