he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
