Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
