i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize