Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
