Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
