Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We have so much sex to catch up on
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
