you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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