why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
