Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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