it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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