My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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