did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
