I just made out with a guy for $7.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize