I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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