She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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