im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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