I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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