dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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