Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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