You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
