I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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