Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
