Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
