so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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