I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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