and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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