so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize