i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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