Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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