I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
