I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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