1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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