I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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