I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
