he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
