When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
