I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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