So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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