I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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