we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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