Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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