I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
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