There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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