If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
