Soap is not a condiment
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize