come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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