Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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