my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
