dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
