How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
