I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
